Waking up just now I found the red light flashing on my phone. The calendar had a reminder blinking entitled “It Begins”. What begins? Exactly two years ago today I started serving smoked meat sandwiches in the Monarch Tavern. It seems like much more than two years worth of memories, aches, pains, laughs, loves, staff, customers, suppliers and media – oh, the media.
“It” all started so humbly. That first day it was just me and Jessica Roher and Megan Sullivan. That’s not exactly true. There was also Charlotte Holmes without whose inestimable support and love none of this would have happened. Megan and I were in the kitchen. We hand cut the fries and fried them twice. We used a little mandolin to make coleslaw with a recipe that hasn’t changed. I can’t even remember if we served soup that first day but I think we did.
What I do remember was that I arrived at about 5 am, turned on the Bradley 4 brisket smoker and saw the light flicker briefly before it failed. Welcome to show business, Caplansky. Aaaaakkk! I called Charlotte and told her the bad news. Woman of action that she is, Charlotte rented a car and drove to the Bass Pro Outlet way up north and bought me a new 6 rack digital smoker. She also talked them into taking my failed machine back in exchange despite the fact that I didn’t even buy it there. I still can’t explain how she accomplished this except, clearly, her pretty eyes and rosy cheeks could charm even the most hardened sporting goods manager into doing what she wanted. God love her.
Since then we’ve had our ups and downs – kind of like life. ”L’chaim” means “to life” and its what we Jews say when we raise our glasses. I’ve come to learn a few things about life and I’ll share some of those here and now:
Life is painful. There are disappointments and injuries. There are betrayals and heartbreaks. Nothing ever turns out as one expects – sometimes better, sometimes worse. But that’s part of the mystery of our existence: most of it is out of our control. How we respond to these unexpected circumstances defines us. Truth be told, I’m only proud of how I’ve responded to adversity 80 to 90 % of the time. But this is my challenge: to learn to accept myself as I am, to grow into the kind of man I want to be and deal with life’s painful moments, disappointments and betrayals as well as I deal with life’s joys. This brings me to my second observation.
Life is joy. The day before yesterday a young woman came into the deli at about 3pm for soup and a sandwich. She seemed to be enjoying her sandwich more than your average guest and I couldn’t help but comment how happy it made me to watch her enjoy my food. ”That I’m here is a real compliment to you,” she said. ”I had a baby three weeks ago and this is the first moment I’ve had to myself. All I wanted was to come here and eat this.” Joy? This is how joy feels to me and to her. How about Richard Meloff, who insisted on holding his new son for the first time in one hand and one of my sandwiches in the other just as his father did with him. I met Richard’s mom and dad who confirmed the story. This is joy. We hosted David Sax’s book launch where we shared the joy of the evening with the best deli people and fressers (eaters) in the city. In August we will host Michael and Beth’s wedding and in October Nancy Nightingale’s son’s Bar Mitzvah. This is joy.
Life is delicious. Two years ago today I never imagined being welcomed into the warm embrace of Toronto’s food community as much as I have been. In that time my friendship with guys like Jesse Vallins, Ron Grebler and more recently Greg McDonald has taken me to some of this city’s best eating places. Sometimes we get treated special but most of the time we just eat really really well. My relationship with the fairer sex has been filled with delicious moments too. Lara rejected the “foodie” label in favour of “eater” and she wears it well. Lara was a huge influence on me in the first months of my deli life. Lara, Charlotte, Rachel, Rebecca and I shared many memorable meals. I owe a debt to each of them for listening to me vent about the pains and joys of my life in the deli. Each taught me about life and my place in it. Each helped me grow a little towards becoming a better man.
Life is difficult. I’m not good at relationships. I’m not good at handling the feeling of being taken advantage of. I’m gullible. I have difficulty trusting people. I’m really bad at handling anger. My apartment is a mess. I’m a cry baby. My eating habits? The worst. ’Nuff said.
Life is hopeful. I know I can get better at all the things I suck at.
Life is grateful. If you’re reading this I thank you. If you’ve eaten in my restaurant I thank you. If you invested your money I thank you. If you’ve written about me, talked to your friends about me, posted comments on my blog, hired me to do catering for you I thank you thank you thank you. If you complained, I thank you too because you helped me get better. If you posted anonymously online how bad the food or service was without ever saying anything to anyone in the restaurant you can go fuck yourself.
Life is beautiful. Yes, I’m a bit of a plagiarist and a ham and an asshole at times but more often than not I really feel the beauty of life. I love what I do, the people I do it with and the people we do it for. For all its ups and downs. For all its pains and sorrows and stress. For all its deliciousness, joy and gratitude I thank God for the opportunity to experience the richness of our existence. It ain’t easy but it sure as hell beats the alternative.
P.S. Happy Birthday Naomichi Kobayashi. You are the best meat slicer and staff member I have ever known. My gratitude to you knows no bounds. The fact that we share this special day means it was ‘beshert’. Find that in your little electronic dictionary, my friend.
