And Monday he was looking for another job. Except that this slicer is never late and the last time he missed a shift he called us from the police station where he was giving a statement before going to get his broken arm looked after. He actually came in yesterday for breakfast on his day off. We’re frankly worried about him.

Anyway, his absence meant that I was pressed into service and for the first time in ages I stepped in to slice on a busy Sunday. Its not like I haven’t sliced in a while but I’ve been doing these pansy-assed catering gigs where there’s no time pressure and its a total shmooze-fest instead of a full-on slicing shift in the deli.

“Need a drink,” asked Giulia mid-rush around 1pm. “You’re shvitzing” (yiddish for sweating). I think she was sort of snickering but I didn’t look up to see. It sounded snickerish but not in a mean way. “7-up, please” I said. “When’s Joe coming in for relief,” I asked. It actually got to the point where my hands were cramping around the handles of the knives and I had to ask Charlie to do a 2.5 lb take-out order for me.

There were days when I could crack single walnuts in my fists but that was because of my motorcycle. No one told me you can get clamps for your accelerator and consequently my grip was fierce following long bike trips. In any case, those days are gone although I really did have fun today and wouldn’t mind doing a few shifts a week slicing again. Plus it keeps me out of trouble and helps me focus on the meat.

I have started writing a reply to Corey Mintz’s question about consistency but I’ve yet to write something that I felt was worth publishing. Its not a simple question but it is an important one. I don’t want to sound defensive or incompetent either. I could mention that in “Save the Deli” David Sax quotes Schwartz’s owner Hy Diamond as saying that the barrel aged, dry-cured method of curing meat we use tends towards inconsistency.

There are variables in every part of the process which includes: curing, turning, spicing, smoking, cooling, steaming and slicing. Left out of this list is the cut of the brisket itself, the fridge temperatures, air pressure and all the human errors that could and do occur.

Of course, training and supervising people is the first, best thing we can do. And certainly the desire is there….

We’ve been booked to cater our first seder and I couldn’t be happier about it. I won’t name the customer because I haven’t asked her permission but she came in to discuss having her son’s bar mitzvah at the deli. After discussing that topic she mentioned the seder. “I’m so busy, I really don’t even want to think about it.” she told me and Vishanti.

“Haroseth and everything?” I asked. “Yes. Have you made it?” she asked. “Made it? According to Jewish tradition, I’m a direct descendant of Moses’ older brother Aaron. We invented the stuff.” I said. “Technically, no. I’ve never made it,” I said. But I’ve eaten it twice a year, every year for 40 years and she has a good recipe.

But that’s not all! hahahahaha Sorry. We’re also doing gefilte fish, matzoh ball soup, fricassee, braised brisket, smoked turkey, nodle pudding and some flourless deserts that have yet to be determined. Sound about right? I even offered to do the Four Questions but was rebuffed.

Of course, making a little extra would be a pleasure. Please place your Passover orders as soon as possible to avoid disappointment.

Sorry if you come and find us closed today, Monday February 15. I wish all of you a wonderful day. We had a really good weekend. No long lines or long waits but lots of happy customers.

Its reassuring too because I made the mistake of Googling myself Saturday. I used to do that in the early Monarch days and was amazed by the volume of comments about my food – mostly positive back then. Yesterday, I found a site with a series of nasty comments and it really put me off.

Fortunately, Saturday and Sunday the place was full of friends and of course there’s always a cousin or two around. It was a great weekend. Yesterday I met Sidney Frank, an immigration officer posted in Beijing on his way to the airport. He’s been living there for many years and almost screamed when I mentioned visiting my cousin Teddy Axler in Hong Kong just before handover. Apparently, they were friendly.

I love it when people remind me of my traveling days and even more when they indulge me by listening to my stories. I try keep it as brief as possible.

We bought a pair of used fryers from a used restaurant supply place on Ossington when we opened.  One of the fryers never worked right and after much pestering the vendor finally agreed to replace the fryer.  Today at 10 am a fellow shows up with the new (used) fryer.  He turns off the gas, disconnects the fryer and POOF! At some point some gas was ignited and a small fireball appeared in my kitchen.  Unfortunately, the technician was burned. In the confusion he grabbed for the extinguisher and sprayed it despite the fact that there was no fire. Then he fled.

However, the ball-o-flame did set off the gas alarm which brought the firefighters from across the street.  The fire guys called the police, EMS, Toronto Public Health and the Ministry of Labour. Oh and TSSA too.  Everyone wanted to know if the technician was okay.  We called the fryer vendor who hired the guy.  He came to the deli and told the police that he was the technician who installed the fryer despite the fact that he was not.  The police arrested him for obstruction.

Seeing your kitchen equipment guy being cuffed in your dining room and led away by the police is an experience I never imagined I’d have and I’m not grateful for it.

As I mentioned the fire guys called the Health Department.  Inspector looks around and says that because the fire extinguisher was used we couldn’t reopen until we clean up the powder and that means a total kitchen clean down.   But hey, its been a few months since our last inspection so how’s about we do one right now, he asks? Sure, I say, let’s inspect.  Meanwhile, the Enbridge guys show up and put tags on my gas equipment so I have to call a very expensive installer who luckily does make it out same day.

Then we all do full interviews with TSSA and the Ministry of Labour and wait for the trades people to show up.  All the while I’m trying to keep my staff, customers and suppliers informed.  We can’t re-open until we get the health inspector back tomorrow morning.  I’m confident that will happen even though its out of my control.

It could have been worse.  We lost a day and labour cost took a hit. I really feel for the fryer technician and for the equipment dealer too although, as mentioned, it could have been worse.

Bottom Line: if the Inspector comes back first thing tomorrow, we’ll be fine.

Feels like weeks since I unburdened myself on here.  Hope you don’t feel like I’m ignoring you.  I’m not.  Well, not any more.

January is the quietest month but I’m not complaining.  We closed for the first few days to give everyone a rest and do some cleaning.  When we reopened it was predictably quieter compared with December.  I heard from a few people that when they saw us put paper in the windows during the closure they thought we were done.  Yikes!  We aren’t “rolling in it” but its not dire either.  The paper was simply so people would know we were closed during the staff party that I was too cheap to pay someone else to host.

We’re starting to look deeper into how we do what we do to find efficiencies and ways to improve service.  We’ve decided to start smoking our own salmon for example.  At the same time, the furnace failed last week and I must apologise to everyone who shivered with us as the technician got it working properly.  Someone emailed me that I should have closed but closing is a last resort.  We comp’ed lots of coffee and tea and did lots of explaining but when the meat is as good as it is now, closing would be lose/lose.

I wish we could achieve a level of consistency where the meat was always as it is now but I know thats unlikely (due to the dry-rub method we use to cure meat).  I continue to get emails from people telling me my food is “drek” and others who fine it “awesome”.  At least they felt something, right?  I just know when my nephew Max siddled up to the bar for a fresser and a root beer that he loved every bite and I loved watching him eat it. Great kid.

Happily, we’ve been doing more and more catering events.  The live slicing was a big hit last night before the  TJFF Cinefile “Anvil” doc event at the Varsity VIP theatre and also Saturday night at Mio Adilman’s 40th birthday.  Not to sound like I’m trying to sell the idea that my smoked meat is fabulous but when its this good I love to stand behind it and watch people’s faces as they discover it for the first time.  And then come back for seconds.

On the personal front, my bachelor pad (do people still say that?) is almost ready for a house warming party.  I’ve got so much booze left from the staff party that it should be fun.  Bought a funky vintage (that means ‘used but still expensive’) ceiling lamp for my living room that needs to be installed as well as a dimmer switch.  You’ll see it at the party or the pics of the party.  I also need a kitchen table.  Friend and designer Jenny Armour used to have a Danish set that I loved.  Round teak table.  I’ll find something – just no more Ikea.