Tonight was a very special night.  We hosted two book launch parties for David Sax.  The first was public and the second was private.  Both were enormously fun, busy and thrilling for me personally and professionally.  Because of all the press he’s garnered I was pretty sure the first event would be packed and since his mother Julia and fiancee lauren were in charge of the second event I was sure that one would be packed too.  In fact, except for my parents and investors I didn’t invite anyone to either party.  Well, except for Ron Grebler, Jeff Peters and Manny Blatt but those guys are special.

Better, Sax had invited all the deli guys in the city and most showed up.  Yitz Penciner, a man I consider my mentor and the godfather of deli in Toronto was there with Mrs. Yitz (lovely wife Bernice).  Leslie Wong was there from the Steele’s Deli.  Lorne Pancer from… where else?  Moe Pancer’s was there and he even sat on MY knee for the photo we took. Carol and Jody Silverberg were there from Coleman’s.  Ted Bernholtz waved the Chicago 58 flag and Charise Beck from Switzer’s came just after that photo was taken. These are the people on whose shoulders I stand.  I couldn’t mess this up under any circumstances and I didn’t.

We had a team meeting following lunch service and before the party where I told my peeps about the blog yesterday and discussed with them my expectations.  I was frank and direct.  I accepted full responsibility for our failures and shared responsibility for our success.  I believe I’ve turned a corner and that I’m finally able to accept that my best is good enough.  If I put the right people in place, teach them well and get out of their way magic can happen.  And tonight was magical.  I felt none of the stress and pressure of the past weeks (alright, truth be told I had a minor freak out this morning when I discovered Silverstein’s sent us 24 loaves of double rainbow rye instead of 24 loaves of cocktail rye – but that was it ).

A couple of days does not a changed man make – said my fortune cookie the other day.  With that in mind I’ll try not to strain my shoulder patting myself on the back.

Last:  I’ve heard your cries and I feel your pain.  Thanks to Megan the Mustard Mavin and Alan Gordon’s urging CAPLANSKY’S HOUSE MUSTARD IS BACK.  Danny also wants us to bake our own rye bread and if things work out right, that may happen sooner than you think.

Believe it or not I’ve sat down a dozen times over the last few weeks and each time I ended up saving some rambling thing I wrote without posting it.  It was either too personal, too boring, too kvetchy or just not up to my… standards?  I put it that way because I get far too many comments from people about how much they enjoy reading my blog so now I’m self-conscious about what I write.  That’s my problem: I’ve started to care far too much about what you think of me – not just my food but me and I think its unhealthy.

When I started this adventure it was all about a brisket, a cure, a little smoke, some spice and fresh rye bread.  Gourmet Magazine, Maxim Magazine, Joanne Kates, Bonnie Stern, Corey (Goddam) Mintz, Ruth Reichl, Steven Davey, Geddy Lee, Louis Black and all the outrageous and disproportionate press and public attention I’ve received weren’t part of the plan.  I’m not complaining – not one bit but I am saying that all this stuff has affected me.  I feel a sense of pressure, expectation and responsibility that I’m not sure I ever wanted and I’m not sure this is healthy either.  In fact I know its not.  Evidence? I’ve been yelling at my people and I’ve even been sharp with some customers.  This is not a recipe for success.

Fortunately, I have people around me who love me and with their support I’m learning how to deal with this.  In fact, I’m learning how to relax and enjoy my life but the intervention didn’t come a moment too soon because if Mr. Warhol is right, I’ve only got a few minutes left.  Would you believe perfect strangers send me messages on Facebook telling me I’m an asshole for yelling at my peeps in the dining room? Its true and they’re right.  That behavior qualifies as assholesque and I am guilty of it.  I did apologize to those involved but the damage was done.  That and another incident I won’t go into out of sheer embarrassment (think asshole x infinity) made me see two things:

1 I need help dealing with the pressure and

2 I need a day off

Number One I addressed a couple weeks ago when I found a new therapist.  Number Two I accomplished yesterday – mostly.  See, Monday night I was driving home after dropping off my date (it’s a secret – don’t tell anyone) when I noticed my crew left the lights on in the deli when they closed.  It was about 1 am and I went in to check on the close.  They did great ‘cept for the lights but as I was leaving I noticed the smoker, my (Southern) pride and joy was idle.  I took off my sweater and made six trips up and down the stairs loading her up.  With sweat rolling down my forehead I went looking for the spice blend.  Looking, looking, looking and not finding.  I found the barrel but it was empty but for a handful or two.

Its now 2.30 am and I called Danny Griesdorf, our brilliant and talented chef.  ”Please tell me you’ve hidden the spice,” I asked, hoping that was true and not at all surprised that he was awake.   I didn’t yell or anything which was good because  it wasn’t his fault. Unloading the smoker went faster than loading and I was home by 3.30 am.  Danny and I met for dim sum and then went to Little India to pick up spices and blend them for service.  Mentsch that he is, Danny wouldn’t allow me to step foot in the deli but went in himself on HIS day off to blend spices and get the smoker smoking.

Danny is representative of the quality of the people I’ve assembled.  Maybe that’s not exactly true because his is an exceptional talent.  I’ve seen and worked with many great chefs and he is as good as any of them.  Delicious, fast, consistent, clean and true to deli tradition Danny makes it happen like no one else could.  But like the rest of my team he works extraordinarily hard to please me and my very demanding customers.  Yelled at?  They should get Club Med vacations (or at least a health plan).

Since my sin was very public, so must be apology: I am sorry.  My behavior was deplorable, disrespectful and wrong in every way. I am taking action to ensure it never happens again and am trying to make amends to those I’ve wronged.  I’m working hard to be the kind of deli-man they deserve to work for.  Mostly I want to thank everyone for sticking with me.

Thanks to Dave Shore and the troupe at Monkey Toast for inviting me this evening. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. Just what I needed.

Thanks to Corey Mintz we had our busiest day ever today. The Star’s outgoing restaurant critic reviewed us in today’s paper in what to my mind is an accurate and honest assessment of our first month in business. The result was a mob scene from start to finish today.

While similar in number to the mob scene Corey created on our first day this one was handled with aplomb by my team. In fact we were short staffed this morning but everyone pitched in and made this a stellar day.

Sandy Gordon, the phenomenal host with the most and now our music programmer extraordinaire mentioned at the end of his shift that our performance today was “a realization of my dream”. And he’s right. I created a system that I hoped would work and today it did.

I couldn’t possibly be more proud of my folks or myself for that matter. In fact, yesterday I had a special guest who reminded me how far I’ve come. I hadn’t seen law professor Allan Young for a few years when he rocked in with his family late in the afternoon. While it may seem like classic Caplansky hyperbole, Allan Young saved my life 8 years ago. I turned to him for help during the most difficult time of my life. While I won’t go into detail here and now I can say that his help had nothing to do with his criminal defense work and everything to do with my needing to find someone to believe in me when no one would. It was nice to have him see how far I’ve come and how right he was to have faith in me.

Justin, if you ever read this, please know you have a very special father.

The smoker arrived, it works thanks to Leon’s heroic efforts and I expect these meat shortages to be a thing of the past. God I sure hope so.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding.

Now come eat. Please.

I heard this morning that Gourmet Magazine will cease to publish following its November issue. Michael Takasaki seems to think its all my fault. Doesn’t he know what guilt does to Jews? Why can’t I enjoy my 15 minutes like John Wayne Bobbitt and Karheinz Schreiber?

The smoker won’t arrive until Monday at the earliest which means we’ll limp through the weekend. We won’t accept take-out orders for more than 4 sandwiches at a time (the Giulia Mandel Rule- I love it) and no catering either until we’re flush with meat.

Turns out the shipper didn’t crate the smoker as agreed and I’m worried about my baby. 48 briskets at a time. Whole logs. No more apologising to roomfulls of friends and customers. This is going to be great.

On another note, I was called away on a family matter this morning and was thrilled to hear from David Mirvish and Avie Bennett that the place was busy and that customers were happy. Without me?!? Hmmmm… Makes me proud and a little insecure at the same time.

I’m thrilled with my team, its coming together beautifully and once we get on top of our meat supply issues, life will be good.

That being said, if you’re craving smoked meat, call ahead:

416 500 3852