my day off
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009I had my first day off today. Yeah, I know I’ve closed for a bunch of days and even between Christmas and New Years but for whatever reason none of those days felt truly “off”. Even though I did a bunch of work-related things today it felt like I owned it and it felt good.
I don’t have any clue how we did today, who came in, who complained or raved. I was tempted to text and find out but I resisted because I know that Chris and the rest of my team wanted me to rest and relax. Its a testament to them that I could finally step away for a full day and just chill. I know I need to do more of this, to take my health more seriously. I swore I’d get to the gym today but I didn’t. I’m feeling like an overstuffed kishka these days and either need to lose a few pounds or buy new clothes. I choose the former.
Instead of going to the gym I went to Costco which isn’t as self-indulgent as it sounds. Since I opened I haven’t taken the time to preserve or mount any of the reviews and articles written about Caplansky’s. Sol, the gentleman behind the counter of the photo shop at Costco was very sweet. ”Is that you,” he asked looking at my clippings. ”Have I gained that much weight,” I thought to myself. “Yeah,” I smiled. ”I’ve heard all about you,” he said. “Friends email me telling me I have to go – they say your smoked meat is terrific.” “Only one way to find out,” I said as I signed a 2 for 1 coupon for him. “Bring a friend.” Another customer recognized me too. ”I’m from Montreal,” she said “I grew up on smoked meat.” “Do you miss it,” I asked. “My stuff is different than you’ll remember but it’s pretty good.” She smiled and in a very nice way said “I go to Centre Street for my fix”. “But when I’m downtown,” she added “I’ll drop in.” Sol helped me get set up with a Costco account and I was off to buy oversized versions of stuff that until then I didn’t even know I needed or wanted. Most of it is for the deli anyway.
After Costco I drove down to Colemans and paid my respects. The note on the door was proof of the rumours I’d heard that they were no longer in business. I pressed my fat face against the glass and took in the sad scene. Of course this was no different than it would look if they were simply closed for the evening but I knew no one would be opening in the morning. I read over their menu and meditated on the way things begin and end in this world. A shanda – and so it goes.
I did manage to clean my place up a little. My home is a sty and it needs some tlc. I need to de-clutterfy the place, give stuff away, throw stuff out and create some breathing room. I’ve so focussed on getting the deli going that I’ve neglected even the most basic house-keeping. If I had the threat of a Health Inspector coming over I might do better but since Rachel left for DC things have gotten worse. It felt good just to take out some garbage, to put a vcr I never used on my front step, to recycle.
Then I went to see “The Wrestler”. I ate popcorn and nachos with salsa and warm cheese whiz and enjoyed a large root beer. It was a sad movie with a powerful message: people matter. Relationships matter. Life, like a great meal is best savoured as a shared experience. I confess that relationships aren’t my best thing but I’m working on that. As strange as this may sound – and it pretty much confirms the previous sentence – I believe the most important relationship is the one I have with myself. I realise I’ve neglected myself for a long time and I want to do better.
Hopefully today was a turning point. The first step in the journey towards a balanced life. What it will take are a series of more steps in that direction in order to make it so. Time will tell.





